letting it out on fruit slice

crapppp the more i think about it the more bombs i tend to slice NOOOOO THIS IS FORESHADOWING HOW SHATTERED (more like...sliced) MY SOUL WILL BE IF I KEEP ON PINING AFTER SOMETHING I WANT. 

...even if the pair of denim shorts i want are only on sale for $30 or was it $35 but nooooooooo they were a size too large. I WILL GO SEARCH OTHER GLUE STORES. wait for me 'nude lucy' shorts !!!! er WHAT KIND OF BRAND NAME IS THAT LOL 

sooooo instead i will be the ninja who... slices through the fruits of... of... fellow customers and sales and find that PAIR OF SHORTS I WANT. wth does that even mean it sounds like i'm taking away their futility... fertility... FRUITILITY! 

hahaha i am so funny.... not

D:

I just wish my ass could change size when i wanted it to so i could make use of every sale.... It could be like the Sisterhood of Traveling Pants but reversed.... 

...except my bum won't be traveling anywhere.

(i will get over this soon. . . . . . . . )