confused

There are so many things wrong with me. All i can do is curl up in bed and cry and continue to fail at explaining what's wrong. 

I feel so stupid. Everything is obviously not alright and i still want to keep this barrier up. 

But I think i've figured it out. I'm just so scared of losing you (to somebody, anybody else) that inside i've broken down and realised how fragile things can suddenly become.

I am so, so sorry for being like this.